Podfic Feedback for Group Slashpad (Fic: In From the Cold by <lj site="livejournal.com" user="ladyja

[strangeallure.livejournal.com]

Reader: Group Slashpad (paraka, diurnal_lee and kronos999)
Title: In From the Cold
Author: ladyjanelly
Fandom: Supernatural RPS
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: R
Length: 05:08
Download: mp3 and m4b



First off, let me say that this was a wonderful podfic for an amazing story and that I enjoyed it immensely. If you’re still unsure about downloading: do it right now - it’s well worth it.

Now that the PSA is out of the way, I’d like to say that I wrote this post mainly as a suggestions/feedback post for the readers, i.e. while I enjoyed the reading very much, I tried to not only focus on what I liked, but also on what you might consider changing for future recordings. A lot of this is, of course, subjective, but I tried to at least explain where I was coming from. Just keep in mind that even if I don’t say “in my opinion” all the time, it’s always very much implied.

I used paraka’s very helpful talking points to divide this post into sections, as it got pretty long.

Before starting with the feedback on the recording, I wanted to say how nice it is that you provide a podbook version (and, as far as I can see, a single mp3 file). I have a couple of podfics which are made up of separate mp3s, and it’s just more comfortable to have it all in one file. Plus, the .m4b takes up less disc space, which is always good.

Fic Choice

I had read this story once, about half a year ago, before listening to the audio version – and while I adore podfic, I actually wasn’t sure that “In From the Cold” would be suitable for podficcing. On the pro side, the story is very engaging, doesn’t feature a lot of out-and-out comedy, which requires a reader with a great sense of pacing and timing, and doesn’t have a large ensemble that could make a reading confusing. On the con side, it features non-idiomatic/ungrammatical language (especially Jensen’s go away words), which could make it harder to translate into podfic where you can’t just re-read a paragraph. Also, this Jensen is almost child-like in some respects, but still very much an adult in others – probably the biggest challenge and a fine line to tread.

This podfic turned out to be a very good recording of the story, and I’m glad all of you took on the challenge (I’ll give more details in the individual notes for each reader).

Musical Additions and Sound Effects

The recording doesn’t feature any musical additions or sound effects, and for this story, that's a good choice. I never find music particularly necessary, but I have listened to fic where it was used to great effect, setting a certain mood, e.g. 1950s music for a fic taking place during that time. This story, however, is about a very delicate topic and touches upon a lot of serious issues (equality and the social system, justice and questions of consent, among others), and I appreciate that there is no music to stir the listener towards one or the other interpretation of the text.

I guess you could have used street noises in some places, but that would have pushed the recording in the direction of a radio play.

Intro/Exit

The intro has the fic title, the author’s name and notes, credit to the cover artist and the names of the readers. It also explains which reader reads which character. At first, I thought that meant that everything this character said would be read by the respective person. The thought didn’t appeal to me (I’m not a big fan of radio plays), so I was glad to learn that you read whole chapters written from the respective character’s point of view. Maybe you could have clarified that, but I don’t think it’s strictly necessary.

It would be nice, however, to have the fandom, pairing and rating in the beginning, too. Speaking from my own experience, I usually put a lot of podfic on my iPod at once and then listen to it over a longer period of time. Often, I just click something I don’t even remember downloading, so it’s nice to know from the beginning what I’m getting into.

The exit begins with a “The End”, which I like in podfic, because I have no visual marker like I would at the end of an LJ post. It says where to find the fic online and has a thank-you note by the readers, which is very sweet.

I would have liked to also have an address for where to leave feedback for the readers, something along the lines of “If you enjoyed this recording, please leave feedback at: http://community.livejournal.com/amplificathon/367140.html ”. I know it’s a little awkward to read URLs out loud, but I personally would prefer typing the link to weeding through a personal journal in search of the right post. (And, as you posted as a group, your post would be even harder to find.)

Editing, Sound Quality and Volume

Even though there are three different readers, the editing is very smooth and the sound quality and volume even throughout. I didn’t notice any awkward clicks or cuts either. In chapter 9, at 01:55, it sounds like there was a longer pause before the recording picks up again and diurnal_lee’s voice sounds a little different, but it’s not grating at all. I just thought it was strange that it was so early in the chapter. Also in chapter 9, at 06:22, you can hear that a sentence was replaced with a later recording, but again, it’s just because the voice sounds slightly different, otherwise, it’s edited in very smoothly.

Additionally, there is absolutely no background noise, so the podfic’s audio quality seems very close to professional recordings.

Reading

First off, I’d like to address a few general points.

Judging from your voices in this podfic, you really chose the most suitable reader for each character in this story. I actually tried to imagine switching up the readers for the different chapters, but it never worked as well as what you recorded.

Also, I enjoyed all of your readings, they are clear and clearly understandable throughout, and it’s obvious that you all put a lot of effort into this.

None of you does excessive voice acting, but you do try to give something distinct to the different characters you read, and it works well for me with you all. Still, I think it’s always good to get in character a little, making sure the reading (especially of long narrative passages) doesn’t become slightly monotone.

All of you read without a strong accent and – together with the great sound quality – this makes this podfic well-suited for listening to while running errands or on your way to work because there are no major issues regarding understandabilty.

Some minor things you might consider for future readings (I noticed these things with all of you at different points in the reading, but never throughout):

Occasionally, you don’t fully enunciate word endings. This can be a tough call because not fully enunciating makes speech sound more natural, but it can also hinder comprehension – especially for non-native speakers or people who haven’t read the fic. I don’t think this happens in your recording, since your voices and the sound quality are otherwise really clear. Still, you might like to think more consciously about this, and maybe, for example, only do this in dialogue (where, as I said, it might sound more natural) and not in the narrative part of the fic.

Another point that pitches naturalness against understandability is how fast you read. I think all of you are understandable throughout, but there are instances where your reading could have been a little slower. Just a point to keep in mind, perhaps.

Overall, it's really easy to follow your readings, but sometimes, the difference between the narrative part of the fic and the dialog isn’t quite clear from the beginning. Maybe cultivating a distinct narratorial voice could be useful, something that is always slightly set apart from the dialogue. Another strategy could be marking the dialog for different characters in different colors, so you have a visual clue as to which voice to use (and when to switch to a dialogue voice) while reading. Also, waiting a beat before and after something in quotation marks helps with distinguishing between narration and dialogue. This waiting a beat is especially helpful when the POV character is speaking (since then, narratorial voice and dialogue voice would probably be the same).

Here’s some specific feedback for each reader individually. I had more examples, but I already told paraka my tale of woe and how I lost a week’s worth of files, including all my notes for this, to malware. I just didn’t have the time to go through the whole reading anymore.


diurnal_lee as Jensen

As I mentioned before, I think Jensen in this story is a very difficult character to do justice to in a reading, and I think you do spectacularly well.

Part of this seems to be the natural quality of your voice. Listening to your reading, I find it very hard to guess your age: on the one hand, there’s this young, innocent, wide-eyed tone, but then there’s also something … wise (for lack of a better word) and grown-up to it. I think it fits incredibly well with this Jensen, who’s so curious and child-like and yet very much capable of making his own decisions, being his own person – and choosing to be in a relationship with Jared (which is the part that has the potential to make a reading with the wrong voice slightly squicky).

I really like how you switch between Jared and Jensen and how you project Jensen’s vulnerability, but also determination, in your reading. There is a lot of tenderness, and it feels like you really got into the character.

Sometimes, a clearer difference between narratorial part and dialogue would be nice (see above), but it's never grating.

Here are my thoughts on a few specific scenes:

Chapter 7, around 10:00: I love the whole scene when Jensen gives Jared the wire man and Jared takes care of Jensen after, even if the narrator and Jared sound almost the same sometimes (see above). The enthusiasm in Jared’s voice (“This is awesome.”) feels genuine, but not over-the-top. I also love the difference between Jensen’s two “it was”.

Chapter 9, around 01:20: There is just so much tenderness in your voice, and I simply love how it goes softer for “He wants to be long time and forever good and kept and keeping.”

Chapter 9, around 03:00: Your reading of Jeff is very nicely done here; just slightly deeper and darker, protective, but not too much (still feels like a reading, not a radio play.)

Chapter 10, from 00:00: Jensen’s thoughts about Jared and the shower and about touching Jared all sound very sweet and tender, yet subdued.

Chapter 10, around 04:30: Your “maybe Jared said he should [take a shower]?” made me smile.

Overall, this is a great reading for a character difficult to pull off. I love it.


paraka as Jared

You have a very friendly and feminine voice, very likable and nice to listen to.

I thought that maybe because of that feminine voice and the comparatively high pitch, you chose to read Jensen a lot like a child. As you read the parts from Jared's point of view, I don’t think this is much of a problem (see further down for details), but I also noticed that you read Jensen a little lower in the opening scene, when he first comes to the clinic. I think that worked really well, too, and you could also have read him like that for the whole recording.

With your part of the reading, I noticed the missing word endings the most (which really doesn’t mean much because it wasn’t a big problem to begin with), but your voice also sounded the most excited throughout. It really conveyed that you enjoyed reading the story.

Here are my thoughts on a few specific scenes:

Chapter 1, from the beginning: I like that Jensen’s voice isn’t as high at first, and I love the sing-song voice you use for his rhymes (“use, snooze, lose”) as well as the confusion clear in his tone. Your soothing voice for Jared during the first examination also works really well – only at 06:04, the text says ”Here, whoa,” he says, low and soothing, but your voice (while really nice), is actually pretty high, not low.

Also, you’re laughing at 02:02 when you say "waiting area chair" (It’s not a problem, I just remember thinking I hope she won’t be laughing throughout when I heard it for the first time.)

Chapter 8, around 11:30: when Jensen says “I’ll feet” and then corrects himself to “I’ll walk”, your voice sounds very child-like, maybe you could have made it a little lower. I really love the way you stress this, though, the way it sounds like he’s determined to get it right. Also, I feel a little hypocritical for pointing this out, because your voice sounds very cute when you read Jensen more like a child. I didn’t really have a problem with it, but I think if you had read the sex scenes, too, I might have.

Chapter 9, around 14:00: When Jensen takes care of Jared and makes him go to sleep, you read both very well. I especially liked Jensen’s “Sleep here, it’s good, I promise,” and how your voice slowly evens out when you read “Slow breathing, any minute now, making something to eat.” Also, Jared’s sleepy “’s okay” is just too adorable.

Your reading is probably the most enthusiastic, and I like how that emphasizes the hopefulness in Jared’s character. You must be wonderful at reading college!AUs. (Okay, okay, that might partially stem from my wish for more college!AU podfic in general, but it’s still true.)


kronos999 as Jeff and Mackenzie

Your voice is in relatively sharp contrast to the other two readers, much darker and more mature (at least more mature than paraka), and I like how that ties in with how Jeff, in particular, is so different from Jared and Jensen. I feel like you keep your voice very even and contained throughout because that suits his character, because he is someone with a lot of baggage who mainly copes with his issues by not thinking about his own problems, but by focusing on helping others.

Occasionally, this evenness sounds a little too flat to me, bordering (only sometimes!) on monotone. When it happens, you also tend to read faster (surprisingly), and it gets a little harder to hear the individual words. If someone doesn’t have her full attention on the podfic or doesn’t already know the story, I imagine that could be a (small) problem. It’s never for extended passages, though, and there are other passages where you have emotions shine through his gruffness (see below), which are very touching and nicely done. To me, that just means that you’re absolutely capable of balancing evenness and emotion, and it’s maybe just something to keep in mind while recording/editing.

I also feel that you read Mackenzie ever-so-slightly differently, just a touch softer and less gruff than Jeff, that was also really well done. You can hear how angry and hurt she is and how she, slowly, comes around.

Here are my thoughts on a few specific scenes:

Chapter 9, around 05:07: "With a gun to his head Jeff wouldn’t admit how much it hurts ..." you read this whole section really well, not only the paragraph about Jensen, but Jeff's thoughts about Karen Hall, too. It's very understated, but his feelings shine through nevertheless. I especially like the way you read hurts in “it hurts to feel another one slipping away from him” and "tired and glassy" when he talks about Karen’s eyes.

Chapter 9, 04:50: "Jeff watches Jensen from the corner of his eye as he eats the sandwich Jensen brought him". At first, I thought you didn't pause for a comma, but then I checked the PDF, and the problem is that the "as" is missing. I'd guess this happened in editing.

Chapter 12, around 01:02: “He remembers the days of wife and kids …” I very much enjoyed the way you read this, slightly wistful, but not overly emotional. I really think this understatedness is your strong suit. I like how you make Jeff sound strong and damaged at the same time.

Chapter 21, around 00:55: This whole passage about ‘old Davis’ is read very well, but your “a smile when friends stabbed him in the back” (which was edited in later) I liked the most. You can hear this slight edge of confusion in her voice, like she’s trying to hold on to this picture of a brother who’s no longer there.

Your reading is mostly subdued, more quiet and serious than the others, which fits Jeff particularly well. I really like how you convey the strong, dark, and silent part of his character, but with softer emotions peeking through occasionally. I can easily picture you reading apoca!fic and meaty case!fic in particular.


Overall, this was a great podfic of a great story, and it was a real pleasure to listen to. I just hope all of you will continue to record podfic (J2 in particular, but that’s just where my personal tastes run).

Thank you so much for obviously putting a lot of work into this. It really paid off.

ETA: I initially had the feedback for diurnal_lee and paraka confused; thanks for pointing it out, elsewhere_kels!

Comments

[elsewhere-kels.livejournal.com]

I found your feedback to be very interesting and helpful even though I obviously wasn't part of this project, lol - just a quick note, you have paraka down as Jensen and diurnal_lee as Jared and I believe it's actually the other way around?

[strangeallure.livejournal.com]

You're right: I did get them mixed up, but I changed it now - thanks for the heads-up!

I'm glad you found this helpful; it took me a lot longer to put together than I thought, so it's nice to know someone finds it useful :)

[paraka]

Wow! This is awesome in depth feedback! And I have a lot to respond to, but I don't have time right now (and possibly for the rest of this week, while work is killing me dead) to respond to properly. So this is a place holder so you know I think it's awesome and will come back later to discuss. :)

Edited because I used the wrong icon at first :S

[strangeallure.livejournal.com]

I always appreciate a Dean Winchester icon :)

Sorry work's so stressful right now.

[cybel]

Regarding liking an url at the end:

I personally would never take the time and energy to write an url down from listening to it--just too complex for me, not to mention the listening while driving, etc. issues.

The same effect could be gained, perhaps, by referring the listener to the Audiofic Archive, where almost all podfics are in residence, easy to locate, and contain links to the various authors' and readers' links or email addresses.

[strangeallure.livejournal.com]

I personally would never take the time and energy to write an url down from listening to it

- I think most people wouldn't, but some might. I remember trying to locate FayeJaye when I had listened to "Easy as Pie" (my first podfic ever, btw), and I really wanted to comment, but I just couldn't find her LJ (today, I know that her name here is pandarus).

Referring to the audiofic archive seems like a good idea. (Only problem: if people don't already know it, I doubt they'll spell jinjurly right and so won't find it.)

Also, this is a special case because it's a group post. Generally, something like, "All my podfic can be found at paraka.livejournal.com" would probably work. Especially if the reader has a master list up or tags her podfic.

It's also good to put the feedback URL in the podbook. (I can't see if they did that here because my laptop with iTunes on it is broken right now.)

[cybel]

All of my podbooks contain the text url.

As far as finding the archive, if one calls it by name, the audiofic archive, a quick google search brings it right up, though, of course, not everyone would think to do that. :-)