Podfic recs: More Issues Than National Geographic

[nwhepcat.livejournal.com]

yourlibrarian recently wrote some meta about Supernatural 5.11, "Sam, Interrupted," in which she said SPN fanfic writers have so thoroughly explored the psyches of Sam and Dean that a 42-minute TV episode was bound to seem unsatisfying in comparison. So for my rec day, I thought I would delve into some of those fics on podfic.

I'm concentrating on SPN for a couple of reasons: First, it's almost exclusively what I listen to. I commute an hour each way on two-lane roads through Midwest farmland, and that seems to set the tone for what I most want to hear. It's perfect to complement the landscape with the Winchester brothers in their Impala. Second, those boys have more issues than National Geographic, so there's plenty to work with. (There will, however, be a bonus due South rec at the end.)

(Oh, and a couple of these got recced already during the last two weeks, but since I've got a theme going here, I'll still talk about them. But I added a couple of new ones too.)



Here Be Monsters: Podfics That Map the Psychological Terrain of the Brothers Winchester (with bonus due South)

Since "Sam, Interrupted" is the launching point for this rec theme, I'm going to start with a couple of fics that are actually set in mental hospitals.

"Chains of Babylon (All in Your Mind)" by poisontaster read by superstitiousme.
Adult, Sam/Dean
5 hrs.
mp3 | audiobook

Dean wakes up under restraints in a mental hospital to find a boy he doesn't know breaking him free. The boy claims to be his brother, though Dean doesn't remember him -- or much about his life before the hospital. All he knows is he's very sick, and despite the shockingly brutal treatment he's received there, he's not sure leaving the hospital is such a good idea.

This physically and mentally broken Dean is the POV character for this long fic, with all the heartbreak that comes along with the reader/listener knowing all kinds of things that Dean no longer remembers. This fic follows his slow development of trust in Sam and realization that it's not what's inside him that's evil, but what was done to him. As diminished as he is, he's Dean, and once he makes that discovery, he has to make a choice about what to do with it.

It's a compelling story that's absolutely wrenching, combining hurt/comfort with casefic (with a really horrific monster at the heart of it). There is Sam/Dean, resuming a longstanding relationship -- if you want context, there's an earlier podfic of poisontaster and mona1347 from this 'verse, "Every Broken Thing."

superstitiousme has a hushed, straightforward reading style that adds to the compelling quality of the story.

"And I Wake Up Blind, Like My Dreams Were Too Bright." Written by strangeandcharm, read by pandarus aka FayJay.
NC17, Castiel/Dean
2 hrs.
mp3
audiobook

Set immediately after the S4 finale, the fic begins with Jimmy Novak waking for the first time in months, trapped under rubble in the wake of the archangels' attack on Castiel. At first there's no sign of Castiel's presence in his vessel at all, but Jimmy has no control over his body. Then Castiel awakens, and things get infinitely worse. Take one guy with amnesia, superhuman strength and a voice in his head, and where do you put him? Right -- the psych ward. As Castiel splinters to pieces, convinced that he is human and insane, Jimmy struggles to survive and find a way to get them out.

The hospital staff in this fic aren't actively evil, but they sure as hell don't know what they're dealing with, or how to handle it. We feel Jimmy's urgency and fear as the only one who knows what's going on with no ability whatsoever to communicate it to anyone else.

FayJay is a remarkable reader, who brings a great range of emotion and a sense of lyricism to the readings she does, and this is no exception.

Now, out of the asylum and straight into Bedlam we go:

"When Heroes Go Down (They Go Down Fast)" by buffyaddict13, read by emeraldsedai aka Darkemerald.
8.5 hrs.
Hard R, gen multi-POV.
Warnings apply
mp3 | audiobook

The fear that Sam will go darkside is a disquieting thread that runs through SPN from early S2 onward. So it's completely natural that fic writers would take this fear and turn it to reality to explore the aftermath. The aftermath is pretty damn angsty in this amazing long fic. We all know that the aftermath for Dean does not involve killing Sam as he promised or giving up on him. And post-darkside Sam shares a lot with post-Hell Dean in the level of guilt and self-loathing he sinks into.

The apocalypse comes earlier than in canon here, veering off in late S2 when Sam joins the ranks of Azazel's special kids, following his warped destiny. The narrative flips back and forth between "Then" -- Sam in full darkside mode -- and "Now" -- Sam and Dean dealing with the consequences. With the world devastated by the Croatoan virus, Dean and Sam and a ragtag band of survivors (including Andy Gallagher) head for New Mexico to try to fix the world, even as Sam faces the horror of the things he's done. There are some coping behaviors that could be triggering for some, so proceed with caution if you generally look for warnings.

In addition to Sam's issues, there's a wonderfully-drawn OFC who happens to be schizophrenic. She draws you in, as do others of the original characters who populate this story.

There's heartbreak in this fic, but it's also an extremely satisfying story that is ultimately not bleak at all. At eight and a half hours, this Podbang fic is a very ambitious undertaking, especially for a reader new to podfics, but Darkemerald does a fine job, with a straightforward reading style that works well with the story's urgency and occasional understated humor. There are a few editing issues, repeated sentences, but they don't detract at all from a podfic that's going straight into my Keepers folder. Darkemerald's definitely a reader I'd like to hear more from (and the author, too).

"Somersault" 'verse by not_refined, read by juice817
Sam/Dean
R
8.5 hrs.
mp3 | audiobook

Hoo boy. This fic just killed me. It's a long S1 h/c fic dealing with traumatic brain injury to Sam, but it's just as much Dean's story as Sam's. Sam's life has permanently changed in a heartbeat, but so has Dean's -- he is determined to take care of his brother and give him the best life he possibly can, without having much experience in what a normal life is even like. Dean's issues are in full force here -- protectiveness, guilt, Dad issues, inadequacy -- everything we've always seen in him, super concentrated; add to that feeling totally overwhelmed and terrified of failure and the forced separation from Sam that's bound to result.

This story assumes a previous sexual relationship between Sam and Dean, beginning about a year before Sam left for Stanford and resumed in S1, which adds another level of complication to everything going on in Dean. not_refined doesn't treat Sam as a child just because his motor skills, language abilities and emotional control have become more childlike; he's an adult, though a damaged one, and his feelings for Dean are present (and more likely to be expressed somewhat inappropriately in public -- and hello, Dad issues like whoa).

The main fic here is in Dean POV (plus some coda stories at the end in other POVs), and there are times his struggles and feelings just made my chest ache. His journey isn't sugar coated, but it also has many moments of grace and beauty and humor -- I laughed out loud just as many times as I said to my car stereo, "This fic is killing me!"

juice817 is a wonderful reader who has quite a catalog of podfics, whose almost-whisper is emotive and compelling. And she does a particularly fine job of bringing out both the difficult aspects of this new Sam -- and his sweetness and wonder. I can't say enough times how much I loved this fic to little bitty pieces.

"Blood on Blood" written and read by maerhys
NC17, implied Sam/Dean
5 minutes
Warnings apply.
mp3 | audiobook

Sam in the Wednesdayverse is the first thing that made me venture into writing SPN fic, and I've come back to that bleak and unbalanced world to write it again. So this super-short fic was bound to get me right here.

After Dean's death on that Wednesday morning, Sam keeps his brother with him the only way he knows how. Dark and powerful and totally believable. If you appreciate warnings, read them at the text version.

"Listening to the crack of doom on the hydrogen jukebox" by paxlux, read by pattyposh
NC17, Sam/Dean
23 minutes
Warnings apply (hoo boy); read at text version
mp3

This is dark and chilling beyond anything the show has done with post-hell!Dean. Triumph isn't what it seems when Sam breaks Dean out of hell. They both return so broken that they don't even seem to realize they are broken, and what they have aren't so much issues as fullblown madness. What they become is chilling, but the moment when we see them through the eyes of a good friend (and we fear for him), that's when it crosses into heartbreaking.

There's a sequel just posted, and you can be damn sure I've downloaded it already, but damn, I am bracing myself.


"Eight Sessions" by Speranza, read by fleur-di-li (fleurrochard and lian)
NC-17; Fraser/Ray Kowalski
4 hrs.
mp3 | audiobook

I don't know that Benton Fraser had that much more normal an upbringing than the Winchesters, but this fic falls more closely into line with the sorts of experience most people have with mental health professionals. That doesn't make it less compelling, by any means.

First, a note: This fic is the only dS fanfiction I've read and heard so far, because I haven't yet finished the series and am trying to avoid spoilers for the last season. This fic, in fact, is how I got to be a dS fan and why I am making my way through the whole run of the series. (And I see there are a whole lot more Speranza dS fics in podcast form, woo!)

In "Eight Sessions," Ray is involved in a shooting and must undergo a mandatory 8 sessions of therapy. Fraser, who was present at the incident, isn't bound by any such requirement, but decides the best thing to do to keep their unorthodox partnership above-board with Internal Affairs is to follow standard procedure. So we sit in on the private sessions each has with his therapist.

There's a pretty cool contrast here in what happens with the right therapist and the wrong one. Fraser is totally at sea here; this sort of exploration is something that does not come easily, and his therapist, Dr. Dave Berger, hasn't got much of a clue as to how to handle him. Ray, whose opinion is the whole concept of psychotherapy is one big circle jerk, finds himself assigned to Dr. Melissa Wertzer. Ray has pretty easy access to his feelings, but self-analysis is a whole new realm. Simple questions lead to dazzling flashes of insight and seismic shifts. The moment when one of our heroes stops to consider his "most important story" is amazing scene, and the aftermath makes this the fic that introduced me to a whole new fandom.

This was recorded for the Podbang, and is quite an ambitious debut for any readers. English is not their first language, but Fleur and Lian do well -- particularly on the dialog and the more dramatic bits of narration. The more expositon-heavy parts are read faster than those parts, which makes this a podfic that's more rewarding of a more attentive listen in quieter conditions, rather than a background for chores or driving. Like the other Podbang fic on this list, it introduced me to readers that I definitely hope to hear from again.

So them's my issues; I welcome additional recs in the comments!

Comments

[yukisherry.livejournal.com]

alright, alright, dl-ing cas/dean rec here. ;)

[nwhepcat.livejournal.com]

One of these days I'm going to do a Castiel podfic recs post, because there are a bunch I adore. I've got a series of podfic recs in my LJ, and that's where I'd be posting this one.

Here's the relevant tag:

http://nwhepcat.livejournal.com/tag/podfic+recs

[yukisherry.livejournal.com]

okidoki! that's awesome. bookmarked the link. :D

[parisindy.livejournal.com]

man i wish there were more that weren't nc-17 but i will be checking out the first one thank you!

[nwhepcat.livejournal.com]

I have a slew of recs of all ratings in my LJ, plus I'm reccing over at spnroundtable for the month, and that will probably be podfics.

Here's where the previous series of recs can be found: http://nwhepcat.livejournal.com/tag/podfic+recs

[parisindy.livejournal.com]

thank you! that's awesome i will check it out :)

[sothcweden.livejournal.com]

Ya know, I hadn't thought about the fact that all the fanfic and fan discussion of the boys' issues might be part of the reason I was annoyed at the lack of exploration of Sam's issues in 5x11. Thanks for something new to chew on!

[emeraldsedai.livejournal.com]

Thank you for the lovely rec! You'll be pleased to know that I'm working on another, even longer piece (and improving my editing skills with vast swaths of practice on my own unfinished novel).

"Blue Skies From Rain" by lovesrain44,is a veritable saga of Sam/Dean hurt/comfort and love inside the walls of a mental institution. I just can't help myself. I love me some damaged Winchesters.