Wow, thanks for such a thoughtful reply!
I hadn't realized it, but it was the OOCness that was taking me out of the fic. (As for fans/fandom having a sense of in vs. out of character for rpf: it is not logical, but it is often true. By coincidence, I've been mulling that over lately, so this fic will be interesting in that context.)
Yeah, in particular, that picture of Jared under the "not an exit" sign is definitely helping! :)
Thanks again for this analysis!